"Changing the world . . . one common courtesy at a time."

Monday, October 4, 2010

DATING ETIQUETTE - Picking Up Your Date

Parents, you’ve survived the “hanging out” and “hookin’ up” (not what you think, I learned from my teens) stages and now it’s on to the more formal rituals of “dating.” 

Like it or not, parents analyze every single characteristic or “flaw” of someone who is courting their offspring.  Review with your daughter or son the rules of date pick up.


1) Dress appropriately.  Let your date know in advance where you will be going and give her an idea of the dress code. This way, no one is embarrassed by being ‘overly’ or ‘under’ dressed.

2) Arrive on time - not too early and not a minute late!

3) Don’t arrive with music blaring.  Show respect for the parents and the neighborhood.

4) Never blow the horn and expect your date to come running out to meet you. The same applies to a text or phone call.  You must enter your date’s home, properly introduce yourself, say hello to her parents and family.

5) Before leaving, ask the parents what time you should have her home.

6) Respect the parents’ curfew and honor your word.  This is comforting to parents, instills a sense of trust, and makes you look good!
7) Walk her to the car and open the car door for her.

8) Do not peel out of the driveway.  You have just blown your chances of being approved!

9) Upon return, walk her to the door and do not leave until you see that she is safely inside with the door closed.


1) Dress appropriately.  Know how you should dress ahead of time so as to avoid embarrassing yourself and your date.

2) Be on time.  It isn’t “socially acceptable” to keep him waiting.  It’s rude.

3) Do not allow a text, a phone call, or a honking horn summon you to his car.

4) When your date arrives at the door, invite him inside to meet or say hello to your family. He may be uneasy as he is the one on the hot seat.  Make him as comfortable as possible.

5) Start the conversation by telling your parents something interesting about him.

6) Offer your date a small drink of something.

7) Ask if he needs to use the restroom before leaving.

8) Do not laugh or make light of him peeling out of the driveway.  It isn’t cute.  It isn’t funny. This says a lot about him. This should be your last date with him.

9) Honor your parents’ curfew.  Parents do not sleep well, if at all, until their children are home safely.  It will make also make your date look bad as your parents will think he is being disrespectful.

10) Regardless of whether you had a good time or not, write a simple (not overly gushy) thank you note for the evening.  It shows how you were raised. Both he and his family will be impressed.

And girls, if you are the one picking up your date (barring special circumstances where you have a driver’s license and he doesn’t) the EtiquetteQueen has a lot to say about that if it’s a first date, but  . . . we’ll save that for another day.

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