Do you have that co-worker who somehow ends up smelling like a rose because of all the great ideas that he or she brings to the table? The only problem is - the ideas are yours! In the acting world, we have a term called “scene stealers.” They’re the actors who repeatedly try to outshine the other actors. They do things that are distracting, things that always bring the focus onto themselves.
In the Etiquette world, I call these people “credit stealers.” Every time you have a brainstorm of an idea, that idea somehow gets tossed about behind closed doors or (the audacity!) in open corporate forums with no credit given to you. This is a great way for a co-worker to alienate him or herself from fellow co-workers and managers. Only problem is - they don’t care! It’s also a great way for baby to keep sitting in the corner.
To the bysitter, it seems that credit stealers get kudos and praise and even promotions while fellow co-workers suffer in silence, not knowing how to handle such a delicate situation. Being the “office snitch” is not a good label either so . . . eyes roll and the dilemma continues - how on earth do you stop it?
Sooner or later, the credit stealer is exposed for what he or she is but it may take years to see office justice. Sometimes, the wait seems unbearable, but does it have to be? Do you wait it out or do you tackle it head on? When is too soon? Have you been with the company long enough to do so? Where do you rank on the totem pole of corporate worth? How about self worth? Are you good with composure and articulation in meetings? Hmm . . . better give this some thought.
There is power in numbers. If you decide to move forward by addressing the subject, you may want to wait until you have several examples to reference. However, if there was only one credit stealing incident, yet that one turned out to have a significant impact on the company (a novel innovation, a decent revenue booster, a project that was well received by clients), then you may want to summon the courage to discuss the matter with your superiors now. No one but no one can make this decision for you. Each credit stealing situation is different. Each manager is different. Think carefully. Weigh the pros and cons. And then prepare. Prepare to be professional.
If you decide to ask for a meeting: Presentation is key. Rehearse. Practice the salient points you wish to make. Keep it short and to the point without becoming defensive. The old cliché of “it’s not what you say but how you say it” has a lot of merit. Be diplomatic. Tell your manager that you thought long and hard before deciding to come forward, that it wasn’t an easy decision, that you realize this is risky. State how your “idea” or conversation began and how it progressed. Stick to the facts and insist that you are not angry but are indeed “disappointed.” "Disappointed" gets higher marks than angry. Shake hands, thank your manager(s) for their time. (Oh, by the way . . . this is a great opportunity to ask for special assignments to demonstrate your capabilities. Never pass up an opportunity!)
Now, what if the credit stealer is your manager? Whoa. It does happen - more often than one might think. First and foremost, will a sit down with that manager change anything? Is it worth a try? How do you know if the manager is not taking credit behind closed doors? At some point, you will have to make the decision as to how to broach this prickly situation, should you choose to do so. Once again, eventually credit stealers are ‘found out’ but also once again, if you feel violated, feel that your ideas are repeatedly being ‘borrowed,' if you feel that the lack of credit is preventing you from deserved promotions and acknowledgment, it may be time to have that face-to-face with the higher ups. You may be viewed as a dissenter . . . or a genius. It's a risk you take.
If you politely and professionally address the concern using the tips above and state that you just want this noted, you have less of a chance of appearing jealous and malicious, and a greater chance of being taken seriously. It’s all in the presentation.
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